yesterday I turned 25. Twenty-five. 5 years past 20. 5 years until 30. It sounds daunting and to be honest I was a little scared as this birthday approached. Birthdays are a reminder that you are one year older and sometimes they can make you feel a bit guilty, such as when you think: "I thought by the time I was ____ I would be doing this or would have accomplished that...". They can also be a good time to reflect on how you're living your life and who you are sharing it with. For me, yesterday was a confirmation that I am definitely sharing it with the right people. I was overwhelmed by the love that I felt, from the sweet email and text messages that I received from loved ones far away to my wonderful London friends who helped me celebrate another year. And, as an ongoing resolution of mine, I chose to embrace only the good--yes, I was one year older but the day reminded me that my #1 priority is the relationships that I have with my family and friends (that are often like family) and that that is a fulfilling and worthy life as any. Also, two wonderful things happened that made the day extra special: my older sister chose her wedding dress and a dear friend got engaged. Those two lovely pieces of news were icing on the cake and made me feel that love was all over the place.:)
A London friend gave me a wonderful scrapbook today that has some of my new favorite quotes in the them, and as always, in my pursuit for clarity, peace and joy I am reading, re-reading and trying to embrace them. My absolute favorite line is "exhaust yourself in the glorious pursuit of life". How wonderful is that line?! Here they are, in full:
"Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. Think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best. Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you!"-Christian D. Larson
"find life experiences and swallow them whole. travel. meet many people. go down some dead ends and explore dark alleys. try everything. exhaust yourself in the glorious pursuit of life."--lawrence k. fish
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
The year of talking
I've realized recently that I think I spend more time this year talking than ever before. Not talking measured by the number of words that come out of my mouth, but having real honest-to-goodness conversations. I talk in coffee shops, on park benches, in pubs, in classrooms, on walks, over meals, on skype, on gchat. I've always loved talking with people and learning about their lives, and as my grandmother says, she sometimes feels like I am interviewing her when we have conversations because I ask question after question. It's not because I'm nosy (well, maybe not ALL because I'm nosy)...but I really am interested in people. I love hearing about families, and what people have done, and what they want to do in the future.
And this year, maybe because I don't have a television, or maybe because I'm in a new country, I feel like I've been having more conversations than ever. It's made me think about how much I love learning about other people and what that means. I have always, always loved learning about people and asking them questions from "so tell me about your wedding day 25 years ago" to "what did you have for dinner last night?". A few weeks ago a friend was talking about someone in her family and I said "oh is that the person who did so and so...".. to which she responded "wow you have a great memory!"... but it's not that I have a great memory about everything. I tend to have a bad memory actually for MOST things--I can never remember things I learn in museums or movies or historical facts or titles of books. But if you tell me something about a family member or friend I will most likely remember it...because that's what interests me. So in this year of talking I've thought about how I can consider this when looking for a job...how can I use my interest to help others, to make an impact, to learn about people and to continue talking .
And this year, maybe because I don't have a television, or maybe because I'm in a new country, I feel like I've been having more conversations than ever. It's made me think about how much I love learning about other people and what that means. I have always, always loved learning about people and asking them questions from "so tell me about your wedding day 25 years ago" to "what did you have for dinner last night?". A few weeks ago a friend was talking about someone in her family and I said "oh is that the person who did so and so...".. to which she responded "wow you have a great memory!"... but it's not that I have a great memory about everything. I tend to have a bad memory actually for MOST things--I can never remember things I learn in museums or movies or historical facts or titles of books. But if you tell me something about a family member or friend I will most likely remember it...because that's what interests me. So in this year of talking I've thought about how I can consider this when looking for a job...how can I use my interest to help others, to make an impact, to learn about people and to continue talking .
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Productivity and Just Being
I have been thinking a lot recently about the word "productivity" and how often I use it, hear it, think about it, feel guilty or proud regarding it. I feel as if productivity has become a way to measure my value for the day. And this is just speculation, but I don't think I'm alone in this boat. Common responses when asking friends how there days were are "oh I had a great day...I was so productive!" or "...oh I was so unproductive, but that was because ....( insert excuse here such as : I wasn't feeling well, I was super tired, I had SUCH a busy week)". These are responses that I hear myself saying over and over as well. And I've been thinking about why we feel the need to constantly be productive. Why we measure our value by the amount we "produce". And why we feel the need to make excuses when we have days that aren't productive, days that we don't write a paper, send 25 emails, do all of our laundry, grocery shop, pay our bills, etc. etc.
I'm not sure exactly what we can attribute this to. Culture? Generation? Age? Sometimes I think we live in the era of hyperactivity and mid-twenties are at the core of it. If we're not simultaneously texting, bbming, ichatting, tweeting, reading the news, emailing, brainstorming for our next paper topic (or for our next project at work), making plans to meet friends, making a mental to-do list, AND writing a grocery list we think we're being lazy.
This made me think about a part of a book I read a few years ago, Eat Love, Pray by Elizabeth Gilbert. In the book, she spends a year living in three different countries. It is a wonderful book about adventure, self-discovery and growth. I would highly recommend it to any mid-twenties girl, nomadic or not. But the part of the book that I was reminded of when thinking about hyperactivity is the section when she is living in Italy. She writes about how, when learning Italian, she discovered a word that meant something like to "just be". She says that she realized there was no equivalent word in English. That part of the book has stuck with me in the three years since I've read it and I've thought about it a lot. There are things I do to relax. I watch a movie, or I take a nap or I get coffee with friends or I go for a walk. But there is nothing that I do to "just be" where I am not achieving anything--where I am not actively participating in some activity.
So I thought I'd try that today. I was going into the library to pick up some books this morning and I was struck with what a beautiful morning it was. So instead of going straight to the library, I got a coffee and sat down on a bench in a promenade. I put my phone in my bag and just sat in the sun. I didn't think about what I was doing that day, or what books I was going to get at the library, or anything else. I sat in the sun, drank some coffee and let thoughts come in and out of my mind. I sat there for about 45 minutes and didn't produce anything--I didn't accomplish any tasks, I didn't write any mental to-do lists or think of paper topics or make up schedules. I just was.
I'm still not any closer to understanding why we feel the need to constantly be productive or to make excuses to ourselves and others why we are not. But today, I let myself just be for a full 45 minutes and I don't feel guilty about it one bit. I feel wonderful.
I'm not sure exactly what we can attribute this to. Culture? Generation? Age? Sometimes I think we live in the era of hyperactivity and mid-twenties are at the core of it. If we're not simultaneously texting, bbming, ichatting, tweeting, reading the news, emailing, brainstorming for our next paper topic (or for our next project at work), making plans to meet friends, making a mental to-do list, AND writing a grocery list we think we're being lazy.
This made me think about a part of a book I read a few years ago, Eat Love, Pray by Elizabeth Gilbert. In the book, she spends a year living in three different countries. It is a wonderful book about adventure, self-discovery and growth. I would highly recommend it to any mid-twenties girl, nomadic or not. But the part of the book that I was reminded of when thinking about hyperactivity is the section when she is living in Italy. She writes about how, when learning Italian, she discovered a word that meant something like to "just be". She says that she realized there was no equivalent word in English. That part of the book has stuck with me in the three years since I've read it and I've thought about it a lot. There are things I do to relax. I watch a movie, or I take a nap or I get coffee with friends or I go for a walk. But there is nothing that I do to "just be" where I am not achieving anything--where I am not actively participating in some activity.
So I thought I'd try that today. I was going into the library to pick up some books this morning and I was struck with what a beautiful morning it was. So instead of going straight to the library, I got a coffee and sat down on a bench in a promenade. I put my phone in my bag and just sat in the sun. I didn't think about what I was doing that day, or what books I was going to get at the library, or anything else. I sat in the sun, drank some coffee and let thoughts come in and out of my mind. I sat there for about 45 minutes and didn't produce anything--I didn't accomplish any tasks, I didn't write any mental to-do lists or think of paper topics or make up schedules. I just was.
I'm still not any closer to understanding why we feel the need to constantly be productive or to make excuses to ourselves and others why we are not. But today, I let myself just be for a full 45 minutes and I don't feel guilty about it one bit. I feel wonderful.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Life's Tough: Get a Helmet
A story about part of my yesterday:
I had just arrived in the cafe area of the University of London student union yesterday to meet a friend for a mid-afternoon tea and snack. I was a few minutes early and had to use the ladies room. I put my bag and coat down at a table grabbed my keys/wallet/phone and went to the bathroom. I left the keys/wallet/phone on the sink outside of the stall, used the bathroom and was just thinking how I shouldn't be so trusting and leave a bag with my computer (aka lifeline) in it at a table outside when I stepped out of the stall and realized that my keys/wallet/phone were not on the sink. Talk about unfunny irony. Talk about panic. I ran outside the bathroom, asking everyone in my path if they had seen said keys/wallet/phone, thinking about how stupid I was and how this was actually a disaster--the wallet had cash/credit/debit/all of my university i.d.'s/american license, it was my only set of keys and my phone had every london contact I did NOT know by heart. After what felt like eternity(it was probably 3 minutes) of running around I went up to the cafe counter and said to the man behind it: "I think my phone and wallet have been stolen where should I report this" and he promptly pointed and said something along the lines of "oh I think a lady over there brought it out..." to which I ran in the direction of the lady who was standing in front of the welcome counter. I saw my keys/phone/wallet at the desk. I had barely breathed a sigh of relief when the lady who apparently had brought my things there said angrily "Aren't you going to say thank you?"...
what?? I quickly sputtered a "thank you", grabbed my things and went back to my table. I sat there for a few minutes, thoughts racing in my mind: "thank you thank you thank you God and whoever else is watching over me"..."mental note NEVER leave items on sink again"..."what the heck was that lady's problem?"...When my poor friend arrived a few minutes later I burst into tears at her dismay. As I tried to explain the situation to her though my sobs she kindly listened/ gave me a hug/ and asked me why exactly I was sobbing at the fact belongings were nearly stolen and all had ended well. It was a valid question that I couldn't quite explain. There had been a lot of emotionally charged feelings within a total of five minutes? A stranger had taken my belongings off of a sink counter while I was still in the stall(aka I hadn't actually left them anywhere and then she had been harsh and rude to me within literally one second of seeing me)? I think both of these might have contributed to sending a girl with thinner skin than she'd like into a sobfest.
I'm not sure I have a moral to the story yet. Here are a few I can think of now:
1) Don't leave your belongings in places where you would not know what to do if they went missing. Because they might.
2) If you think you are doing a good deed, and then it turns out it was really not a good deed, but you just took someone's stuff from them, don't be mean to them and immediately demand thanks.
3) Make sure you have friends who will listen to you tell stories like this one, whether they live near you and will sit in a cafe with you while you publicly sob or whether they live far from you and will write you an email with kind and understanding words that make you feel justified and loved. Those are your people.
4) Finally, having tough skin is hard. Harder for some than others. It's easy to get upset when people yell at you to move in the streets(or call you a moron) or yell at you for talking on the phone on a bus, or push you while getting on the train, or honk at you, give you the middle finger or cut you off in traffic. Those are all mean things. But those people don't know you, they are just frustrated at things in their own life, just as you are.
So, I guess the moral of the story is, don't take things too personally, and also: "life's tough, get a helmet". And then get some chocolate and caramel, and start a blog or a journal, so you can write down things that have happened to you and how you feel about them.
It helps, I promise.
I had just arrived in the cafe area of the University of London student union yesterday to meet a friend for a mid-afternoon tea and snack. I was a few minutes early and had to use the ladies room. I put my bag and coat down at a table grabbed my keys/wallet/phone and went to the bathroom. I left the keys/wallet/phone on the sink outside of the stall, used the bathroom and was just thinking how I shouldn't be so trusting and leave a bag with my computer (aka lifeline) in it at a table outside when I stepped out of the stall and realized that my keys/wallet/phone were not on the sink. Talk about unfunny irony. Talk about panic. I ran outside the bathroom, asking everyone in my path if they had seen said keys/wallet/phone, thinking about how stupid I was and how this was actually a disaster--the wallet had cash/credit/debit/all of my university i.d.'s/american license, it was my only set of keys and my phone had every london contact I did NOT know by heart. After what felt like eternity(it was probably 3 minutes) of running around I went up to the cafe counter and said to the man behind it: "I think my phone and wallet have been stolen where should I report this" and he promptly pointed and said something along the lines of "oh I think a lady over there brought it out..." to which I ran in the direction of the lady who was standing in front of the welcome counter. I saw my keys/phone/wallet at the desk. I had barely breathed a sigh of relief when the lady who apparently had brought my things there said angrily "Aren't you going to say thank you?"...
what?? I quickly sputtered a "thank you", grabbed my things and went back to my table. I sat there for a few minutes, thoughts racing in my mind: "thank you thank you thank you God and whoever else is watching over me"..."mental note NEVER leave items on sink again"..."what the heck was that lady's problem?"...When my poor friend arrived a few minutes later I burst into tears at her dismay. As I tried to explain the situation to her though my sobs she kindly listened/ gave me a hug/ and asked me why exactly I was sobbing at the fact belongings were nearly stolen and all had ended well. It was a valid question that I couldn't quite explain. There had been a lot of emotionally charged feelings within a total of five minutes? A stranger had taken my belongings off of a sink counter while I was still in the stall(aka I hadn't actually left them anywhere and then she had been harsh and rude to me within literally one second of seeing me)? I think both of these might have contributed to sending a girl with thinner skin than she'd like into a sobfest.
I'm not sure I have a moral to the story yet. Here are a few I can think of now:
1) Don't leave your belongings in places where you would not know what to do if they went missing. Because they might.
2) If you think you are doing a good deed, and then it turns out it was really not a good deed, but you just took someone's stuff from them, don't be mean to them and immediately demand thanks.
3) Make sure you have friends who will listen to you tell stories like this one, whether they live near you and will sit in a cafe with you while you publicly sob or whether they live far from you and will write you an email with kind and understanding words that make you feel justified and loved. Those are your people.
4) Finally, having tough skin is hard. Harder for some than others. It's easy to get upset when people yell at you to move in the streets(or call you a moron) or yell at you for talking on the phone on a bus, or push you while getting on the train, or honk at you, give you the middle finger or cut you off in traffic. Those are all mean things. But those people don't know you, they are just frustrated at things in their own life, just as you are.
So, I guess the moral of the story is, don't take things too personally, and also: "life's tough, get a helmet". And then get some chocolate and caramel, and start a blog or a journal, so you can write down things that have happened to you and how you feel about them.
It helps, I promise.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Valentine's Day and being an adult(like)
So, I haven't written in a while. I got back to school in January and I got overwhelmed and I kept thinking of things I wanted to blog about but then every time I didn't I got further away from scheduling it into my life--I find, at least for me, the least consistent I am with things like running, or writing, the less I make time for them. But eventually, I find my way back and then I rediscover why they made me happy in the first place.
So anyway, here I am ready to write about an epiphany I just had. I think I'm more of an adult than I thought I was. Okay, maybe I still don't understand how to pay taxes, don't own a car, don't have a 401k(sorry to make you cringe if you read this, LYD), but I've realized recently that I've come more to terms with letting things be as they are, and I think that might be as much a sign of adulthood as any.
What does this have to do with Valentine's day? Well first off, let me say that I've always been a bit dramatic, especially regarding matters of the heart. Since highschool, Valentine's day was either a fabulous occasion to encourage my significant other to shower me with love and affection, or (more often) a time to be bitter, depressed and pouty about being single, "unloved" and alone.
However, I was chatting with an engaged (to be married) friend today and I asked about her plans for the big V-day tomorrow. "ugh, i don't know" she replied, "I HATE Valentine's day". I proceeded to say a sympathetic "aw" and then tell her, truthfully, that I had just had a great time making homemade valentine's day cards for a valentine exchange tomorrow(that will be all female). And then I realized--I haven't had ONE bad thought about Valentine's day. I am more single, "unloved" and alone than I have been since about the age of 14, but instead of dwelling on this, I have been shopping for fun stickers and markers to make my girlfriends(keyword: girl) cards for our valentine's day party. And I think being an adult (a happy one, anyway) is realizing what you have ( a group of fun girlfriends to give homemade cards too) than what you don't ( a handsome beau who showers you in homemade cards) and realizing, as Winnie the Pooh so profoundly says: "River's know this: there is no hurry, we shall get there someday".
So to sum it up: Valentine's Day is just another day. You could be happily engaged and hate it, or happily single and love it. The best thing to do is to try to enjoy what you have in the moment as they are. Maybe next year on Valentine's day I'll have met the love of my life. Maybe I won't. But that's not the point. The point is that I don't want to miss out on enjoying what I do have because I am too busy concerning myself with what I don't. So cheers to spreading love, whatever kind of love that might be!
Happy Valentine's Day!
So anyway, here I am ready to write about an epiphany I just had. I think I'm more of an adult than I thought I was. Okay, maybe I still don't understand how to pay taxes, don't own a car, don't have a 401k(sorry to make you cringe if you read this, LYD), but I've realized recently that I've come more to terms with letting things be as they are, and I think that might be as much a sign of adulthood as any.
What does this have to do with Valentine's day? Well first off, let me say that I've always been a bit dramatic, especially regarding matters of the heart. Since highschool, Valentine's day was either a fabulous occasion to encourage my significant other to shower me with love and affection, or (more often) a time to be bitter, depressed and pouty about being single, "unloved" and alone.
However, I was chatting with an engaged (to be married) friend today and I asked about her plans for the big V-day tomorrow. "ugh, i don't know" she replied, "I HATE Valentine's day". I proceeded to say a sympathetic "aw" and then tell her, truthfully, that I had just had a great time making homemade valentine's day cards for a valentine exchange tomorrow(that will be all female). And then I realized--I haven't had ONE bad thought about Valentine's day. I am more single, "unloved" and alone than I have been since about the age of 14, but instead of dwelling on this, I have been shopping for fun stickers and markers to make my girlfriends(keyword: girl) cards for our valentine's day party. And I think being an adult (a happy one, anyway) is realizing what you have ( a group of fun girlfriends to give homemade cards too) than what you don't ( a handsome beau who showers you in homemade cards) and realizing, as Winnie the Pooh so profoundly says: "River's know this: there is no hurry, we shall get there someday".
So to sum it up: Valentine's Day is just another day. You could be happily engaged and hate it, or happily single and love it. The best thing to do is to try to enjoy what you have in the moment as they are. Maybe next year on Valentine's day I'll have met the love of my life. Maybe I won't. But that's not the point. The point is that I don't want to miss out on enjoying what I do have because I am too busy concerning myself with what I don't. So cheers to spreading love, whatever kind of love that might be!
Happy Valentine's Day!
Friday, January 6, 2012
The Flip Side
I'm not sure if I've written this before but I tend to exaggerate things. I know this term is generally used in a negative context but I have recently started trying to appreciate the flip side of it as well. On one hand, I have mini meltdowns weekly--today, for instance, I started crying out of frustration and probably lack of sleep when I realized how heavy my suitcases were and how far I had to drag them around various tube stations on my way home from the airport. I am a worry-er, a catasrophize-er, a what if?-er. The minute I hear some horrific tragedy reported in the news I panic--that could be my family, that could be my friends, that horrible thing could happen in my world. This part of me isn't new--I've been like this for as long as I can remember. And it's always bothered me, it's always been a part of myself I wish I could change. Why couldn't I just brush things off, be calm, cool and collected? Why did I have to jump from one worry to the next, or think of all of the possible catastrophes that could occur in the far away future or cry when I felt lonely, or overwhelmed, or when I couldn't remember the pin to my debit card, or when I felt like I couldn't carry my suitcases up the stairs?
Some of these things are changeable and I have been working on being less stressed and less overwhelmed and more calm while entering my mid-20s, with the help of great friends who are willing to share good advice. But what I was missing out while worrying about all of the worrying I did was the flip side. Yes, I have the capacity to feel utter despair at the drop of a hat and I can exaggerate a situation until I am convinced that everything will go wrong and nothing ever will be good and right and peaceful anymore. But I also have the capacity to exaggerate what is good in life. When something brings me joy, it brings me so much fulfilling, total happiness that I don't how other emotions could ever fit. When I get excited about a party, or meeting a friend for lunch, or reading a good book, or going for a run, or planning a trip, or taking a zumba class, or hearing someone's life stories, or reading a greeting card in the aisle of a grocery store--it is never a so-so happiness, it is always a so, completely, 100% happiness that fills me from head to toes.
So I have decided, finally in 2012, that you can't have the good without the bad. Maybe if I didn't have the ability to catastrophize things, I wouldn't have the ability to feel true complete happiness just from skyping with a friend for 10 minutes. Maybe I'd say "eh, either way". And I don't want to be like that.
Now I'm definitely not giving up on my crusade to be calm, cool and collected. I just think that in the midst of trying to change what I don't like about myself, I almost forgot what I did. And I want to make sure that while I'm collecting myself--while I'm stretching and meditating and visualizing myself into a new me, I don't leave the old me behind.
Some of these things are changeable and I have been working on being less stressed and less overwhelmed and more calm while entering my mid-20s, with the help of great friends who are willing to share good advice. But what I was missing out while worrying about all of the worrying I did was the flip side. Yes, I have the capacity to feel utter despair at the drop of a hat and I can exaggerate a situation until I am convinced that everything will go wrong and nothing ever will be good and right and peaceful anymore. But I also have the capacity to exaggerate what is good in life. When something brings me joy, it brings me so much fulfilling, total happiness that I don't how other emotions could ever fit. When I get excited about a party, or meeting a friend for lunch, or reading a good book, or going for a run, or planning a trip, or taking a zumba class, or hearing someone's life stories, or reading a greeting card in the aisle of a grocery store--it is never a so-so happiness, it is always a so, completely, 100% happiness that fills me from head to toes.
So I have decided, finally in 2012, that you can't have the good without the bad. Maybe if I didn't have the ability to catastrophize things, I wouldn't have the ability to feel true complete happiness just from skyping with a friend for 10 minutes. Maybe I'd say "eh, either way". And I don't want to be like that.
Now I'm definitely not giving up on my crusade to be calm, cool and collected. I just think that in the midst of trying to change what I don't like about myself, I almost forgot what I did. And I want to make sure that while I'm collecting myself--while I'm stretching and meditating and visualizing myself into a new me, I don't leave the old me behind.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Reflection
Packing has become ritualistic for me as it probably becomes for most people. I don't consciously sit down and think about exactly how I am going to prepare for a trip, but I always end up recreating a similar scene as the last time I packed and the time before. And I always end up feeling reflective--reflecting on where I've been and what I've learned since the last time I filled my suitcase. So I'll share a few of the things I was thinking about while I packed to fly stateside tomorrow, little tid-bits of advice that I've collected from new friends, old friends and experience in the last few months.
1) Life is filled with reason. If you didn't get the job that you wanted, you just got dumped or you missed the train by a second, look for the reason. Sometimes it's hidden, but it will be there.
2) Have the strength to believe in your own path. When you get to your mid-20's, everyone your age is following different paths, going different directions. Sometimes it's hard not to compare yourself--actually, sometimes it's impossible not to compare yourself. Should I go back to school? Should I be pursuing a career? Should I live in New York City? The West Coast? The beach in South America? Should I have a boyfriend? Should I have a fiance? Should I have a husband?...STOP! Everyone travels a different road. You are on yours for a reason(see #1). Be proud of it.
3) Most hurtful things that people do and say really have nothing to do with you, it almost always is an internal issue that they are projecting onto others. So if a stranger yells at you or a friend says something hurtful, don't take it personally. Show a little compassion to both sides by forgiving them and not blaming yourself.
and most importantly
4) Learn to love who you are. Through good times and bad, you will ALWAYS be there to keep yourself company. Push yourself to do things out of your comfort zone, congratulate yourself when you achieve small victories, and comfort yourself instead of put yourself down when you fail to achieve what you had hoped. In other words, be your own best friend.
Today, I'll leave you with a quote that permanently resides on a sticky note on my Mac dashboard, from the one and only Miss Carrie Bradshaw:
"Later that day, I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one that you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you that you love, well, that's just fabulous."
1) Life is filled with reason. If you didn't get the job that you wanted, you just got dumped or you missed the train by a second, look for the reason. Sometimes it's hidden, but it will be there.
2) Have the strength to believe in your own path. When you get to your mid-20's, everyone your age is following different paths, going different directions. Sometimes it's hard not to compare yourself--actually, sometimes it's impossible not to compare yourself. Should I go back to school? Should I be pursuing a career? Should I live in New York City? The West Coast? The beach in South America? Should I have a boyfriend? Should I have a fiance? Should I have a husband?...STOP! Everyone travels a different road. You are on yours for a reason(see #1). Be proud of it.
3) Most hurtful things that people do and say really have nothing to do with you, it almost always is an internal issue that they are projecting onto others. So if a stranger yells at you or a friend says something hurtful, don't take it personally. Show a little compassion to both sides by forgiving them and not blaming yourself.
and most importantly
4) Learn to love who you are. Through good times and bad, you will ALWAYS be there to keep yourself company. Push yourself to do things out of your comfort zone, congratulate yourself when you achieve small victories, and comfort yourself instead of put yourself down when you fail to achieve what you had hoped. In other words, be your own best friend.
Today, I'll leave you with a quote that permanently resides on a sticky note on my Mac dashboard, from the one and only Miss Carrie Bradshaw:
"Later that day, I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one that you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you that you love, well, that's just fabulous."
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