Packing has become ritualistic for me as it probably becomes for most people. I don't consciously sit down and think about exactly how I am going to prepare for a trip, but I always end up recreating a similar scene as the last time I packed and the time before. And I always end up feeling reflective--reflecting on where I've been and what I've learned since the last time I filled my suitcase. So I'll share a few of the things I was thinking about while I packed to fly stateside tomorrow, little tid-bits of advice that I've collected from new friends, old friends and experience in the last few months.
1) Life is filled with reason. If you didn't get the job that you wanted, you just got dumped or you missed the train by a second, look for the reason. Sometimes it's hidden, but it will be there.
2) Have the strength to believe in your own path. When you get to your mid-20's, everyone your age is following different paths, going different directions. Sometimes it's hard not to compare yourself--actually, sometimes it's impossible not to compare yourself. Should I go back to school? Should I be pursuing a career? Should I live in New York City? The West Coast? The beach in South America? Should I have a boyfriend? Should I have a fiance? Should I have a husband?...STOP! Everyone travels a different road. You are on yours for a reason(see #1). Be proud of it.
3) Most hurtful things that people do and say really have nothing to do with you, it almost always is an internal issue that they are projecting onto others. So if a stranger yells at you or a friend says something hurtful, don't take it personally. Show a little compassion to both sides by forgiving them and not blaming yourself.
and most importantly
4) Learn to love who you are. Through good times and bad, you will ALWAYS be there to keep yourself company. Push yourself to do things out of your comfort zone, congratulate yourself when you achieve small victories, and comfort yourself instead of put yourself down when you fail to achieve what you had hoped. In other words, be your own best friend.
Today, I'll leave you with a quote that permanently resides on a sticky note on my Mac dashboard, from the one and only Miss Carrie Bradshaw:
"Later that day, I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one that you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you that you love, well, that's just fabulous."
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Acts of Kindness
I have heard people say time and time again that big cities can make you cold and detached from humanity. And living in quite a big city, I can see why. The hustle and bustle, the hoards of people going from point A to point B, it sometimes seems like if you politely let everyone walk in front of you you would NEVER get anywhere. And I have experienced my fair share of pushes, name calling (a biker yelling "You moron!" at me while I was crossing the street) and near pedestrian and car crashes. A few months living in such a big city, you can clearly see how people might cut themselves off from others as, if not for any other reason, simply not to break down in tears at least once a week.
However, I strongly believe that all humans innately have compassion for one another--and I think it is refreshing and healing for us, whether we live in a booming metropolitan or in a small town, to remember this once in a while.
A common topic among new Londoners is the tube. You will often here people chiming in to give their horror stories of being shoved, seeing people pass out and the general inhumane-ness that happens on the tube. That's why I was so intrigued by the posters I saw advertising artist Michael Landy's "Acts of Kindness". He asks people to send in their stories of acts of kindness they have experienced or seen on the tube. I checked out the website recently and it brought me to tears--the stories of simple acts of kindness that people shared were truly touching. They probably didn't mean to much to the giver--they are stories almost so insignificant that they might not even remember--but they have stuck with the receiver of the kindness. Two stories especially affected me. One was the story of a girl who talks about a time over fifteen years ago when she got ill on her way to school and an older lady made sure she was okay and gave her twenty pounds to take a cab home. The storyteller said this act had stayed with her since then. Another girl talked about a time she was crying on the tube after ending a relationship and two people approached her with tissues and another sat down next to her and gave her a hug. Do the people who offered the tissues remember this? I doubt it. But it clearly made an impact on the storyteller.
This leads me to an act of kindness that I saw a few weeks ago. It was mid-morning and a man was walking through the tube carriage asking people for spare change so that he could make his journey home. Most people, including me, either ignored or pretended we didn't hear him--I continued to listen to my ipod and stare at the ground. However, a man sitting across from me wearing a business suit and typing on his blackberry pulled 10 pounds out of his pocket and handed it to the man. Was the business man going to feel the loss of ten pounds? Most likely no. Was the man asking for money going to be a-okay after he received 10 pounds? Again, most likely no. Finally, will the business man or the man asking for money remember this exchange in a year? Most likely, no. But this small exchange represented to me one human being caring for a stranger simply because he, too, was human and it will probably make its way back into my conscience several times in my future.
So the moral of my story, is that life is tough. People can be mean. You have to learn to be able to remove yourself from the pain of the world a little bit or you would be crying all day every day(or at least I would). But I think it's important to remember that every once in a while, you should do something for someone else, not because they're your friend and you owe them, or not because you want to impress them or make yourself feel validated. But simply because, we're all human; because we all, at one time or another, will need help from a stranger, and because you never know who may be watching and be inspired, once again, in the compassion of humanity.
However, I strongly believe that all humans innately have compassion for one another--and I think it is refreshing and healing for us, whether we live in a booming metropolitan or in a small town, to remember this once in a while.
A common topic among new Londoners is the tube. You will often here people chiming in to give their horror stories of being shoved, seeing people pass out and the general inhumane-ness that happens on the tube. That's why I was so intrigued by the posters I saw advertising artist Michael Landy's "Acts of Kindness". He asks people to send in their stories of acts of kindness they have experienced or seen on the tube. I checked out the website recently and it brought me to tears--the stories of simple acts of kindness that people shared were truly touching. They probably didn't mean to much to the giver--they are stories almost so insignificant that they might not even remember--but they have stuck with the receiver of the kindness. Two stories especially affected me. One was the story of a girl who talks about a time over fifteen years ago when she got ill on her way to school and an older lady made sure she was okay and gave her twenty pounds to take a cab home. The storyteller said this act had stayed with her since then. Another girl talked about a time she was crying on the tube after ending a relationship and two people approached her with tissues and another sat down next to her and gave her a hug. Do the people who offered the tissues remember this? I doubt it. But it clearly made an impact on the storyteller.
This leads me to an act of kindness that I saw a few weeks ago. It was mid-morning and a man was walking through the tube carriage asking people for spare change so that he could make his journey home. Most people, including me, either ignored or pretended we didn't hear him--I continued to listen to my ipod and stare at the ground. However, a man sitting across from me wearing a business suit and typing on his blackberry pulled 10 pounds out of his pocket and handed it to the man. Was the business man going to feel the loss of ten pounds? Most likely no. Was the man asking for money going to be a-okay after he received 10 pounds? Again, most likely no. Finally, will the business man or the man asking for money remember this exchange in a year? Most likely, no. But this small exchange represented to me one human being caring for a stranger simply because he, too, was human and it will probably make its way back into my conscience several times in my future.
So the moral of my story, is that life is tough. People can be mean. You have to learn to be able to remove yourself from the pain of the world a little bit or you would be crying all day every day(or at least I would). But I think it's important to remember that every once in a while, you should do something for someone else, not because they're your friend and you owe them, or not because you want to impress them or make yourself feel validated. But simply because, we're all human; because we all, at one time or another, will need help from a stranger, and because you never know who may be watching and be inspired, once again, in the compassion of humanity.
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